As a mom of three children, I can tell you that one of the most frustrating things is when a kid won’t sit still. Whether it is because we’re in a doctor’s office, or if it’s because I’m changing a stinky diaper, when a kid wiggles, and they’re not supposed to, it’s frustrating. It makes me feel some empathy for God.
Because I’m a wiggler. When God’s trying to change me, trying to make me better, I squirm and slide and try to get out from underneath Him. I have ants in my pants. I don’t want to wait. I just want the change to happen magically.
God usually has to either soften my heart, exhaust me, or totally convict me to get me to stay still. And believe me, when I do wait, I usually do so like a 3-year-old: full of anger and bitterness, whining in every prayer.
This is the place that I have found myself for about a month now. And today, God used Habakkuk to show me how ridiculous I look.
In Habakkuk 2, God speaks of revelation happening at an appointed time, and then He commands us to wait for it, even if it “feels” delayed. Anybody out there waiting for a dream to come true; a prayer to get answered?
I don’t know about you, but I get like the man in verse 4: puffed up and arrogant. My desires may not have started unholy, but they get there…quickly. And it’s just as God’s word says, I get there because of lack of faith.
And so, because I don’t have faith, I turn to my hidden idols, just like verse 5 states. And my “wines” do betray me. They leave me in unrest — which undoubtedly hinders me hearing the voice of God even more. Which, angers me and so I go searching, trying to steal any information that will get me to my desired outcome quicker. I am JUST LIKE death — never satisfied. And I often take captives — I make others join in my misery, either by dumping on them or starting petty fights.
It’s only when I come to the end of this, and I have a little cry fest that the Lord shows me that I have to remain disciplined. That I really do need my relationship with Him. That I really do need to trust that He’s not holding out on me, and that He really did give me a promise that He intends to fulfill. I am humbled by the fact that He’s faithful to wait me out every time.
To get to the answer, to get to the revelation, we have to sit and wait. We have to. There’s just no other way. He’s promised that if we do wait, He’ll renew our strength — He’ll give us reasons to keep hoping. We won’t be thirsty forever. Help me to remember the promise, won’t you? Let’s do it together.