Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts. -Psalm 139:23
I’m not someone to promote selfishness or self centered thinking, but have you ever stopped to realize how much your relationship with God is all about you? About your choice?
I feel like a lot of us say “I can’t hear from God right now” pretty frequently. I realized tonight that maybe when we can’t hear from Him, it’s because we’re supposed to invite Him in to take a look at things. Maybe we’re not talking because we’re not supposed to. And He’s not talking because it’s not going to help.
Now, I don’t mean that we need Him to look over us like we’re merchandise, but I do mean it in the way that we need to have time and space to have Him go eye-to-eye with us. We need to know that someone cares to check in. That someone can handle the answer to the question, “How’s your heart?”
And, really, that moment is so vulnerable, so humiliating sometimes, that really, only God is fit to do it.
Get in a quiet space. Read through Psalm 139 tonight or tomorrow. Really OWN these words:
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. (Lead me to you.)
This is the God that loves you. This is the God that has called you friend. The God that stretched out His hand to measure the universe has made you a co-heir of His kingdom. Surely, we can get real with Him.